Thoughts on September 11th

Just a few thoughts that come to mind as I reflect on the events since September 11, six years ago:

I'm realizing that many of my younger friends have lived almost their entire adult lives with the reality of the world after 9-ll -- in other words, ever since theywere old enough to be aware of worldly goings-on. They have heard that "the world changed" on that day, but might not remember what it was really like before it changed.

That morning I was driving to work, for the first time listening to French music instead of NPR on my 20-minute drive. When I got to work, I noticed my answering machine blinking. I played to the recording, to hear my husband's voice shaking as he told me there had been an attack on the World Trade Center. I called him back immediately, and as we were talking the second tower was hit.

We are on the west coast. My first thoughts? Now we won't be able to travel freely around the world. This is the death of freedom as we know it. Honestly, those were my immediate thoughts, at a time before the second plane hit, before the buildings fell, before anyone knew there were four planes of terrorists that day -- and before anyone even began to connect the dots.

Suddenly images of war and soldiers and weaponry and fear reappeared in the American consciousness. Those who are in your late teens or early 20s have never known anything different. Those in my generation have lived through fear overshadowing us during the Cold War, images of death and losing friends to war during Vietnam, and then, miraculously, through more than a decade of relative calm and peace.

But then everything changed. Travel changed. For awhile, flying was cheap uncrowded in the months following 9-11. Even though they took away our scissors and tweezers. I was not afraid to fly after that day. I was afraid of the limits our government would put on our travels and flights. I had recently discovered the thrill of flying to Europe, traveling to other countries where I could speak French with real French people. I was never afraid of other countries, cultures, or people who were different from me. In fact it felt deliriously liberating to be able to travel and explore other countries. Pure joy.

So it made me mad to have that taken away. I don't know if we will ever have that sense of freedom again.

After that day I wasn't afraid to fly, or afraid of being the victim of terrorists. What I am afraid of, and angry about, are the restrictions on the freedoms that so many Americans have died for in numerous wars. The innocent people who have been delayed or jailed, or worse, around the world in the name of "freedom." The loss of habeas corpus, and the threat to our constitution. That doesn't feel like freedom to me.